Friday, July 6, 2012

Friday's Letters

I am linking up here for Friday's Letters.

Dear B.E. Lopez Construction,

        My husband believed our landlord when he told us how great you all were.  He lied.  We are now on day 4 of you replacing our roof... and I do not think you will finish today.  I am not pleased with your multiple breaks, your two hour lunch breaks, and your afternoon naps all sprawled out in our front yard.  I am not happy that at 2:30 after finishing your nap... you then take an hour to "clean" up before leaving at 3:30 on the dot.  I am not happy that yesterday you destroyed many of my hydrangea bushes.  But... to the ballsy one who rang our doorbell yesterday and asked my husband to use our restroom... then proceeded to take a POOP... you my friend sealed the deal of royally pissing me off.  I explained to my husband that today your workers could ring the bell all day long.. but NOBODY was pooping in our house today.  Oh... and on Monday they removed our DirecTV dish and we had to pay $50 to have someone come out and replace it... you better believe I deducted $50 from the rent I paid today.


One Pissed Off Renter With a Half Assed Roof


Dear Crappy BBQ Guest,

           It is rude to call someone an hour before you are due to arrive at their home for a BBQ and ask them for a ride.  It is even ruder when the host picks you up... and you do not have the soda and bag of Scoops tortilla chips you were asked to bring about three different times.  It is equally as rude to then ask the host to take you to the grocery store.  This is why I sent you home with NO leftovers... even though I had a TON.   If I have my way you will no longer be invited to our home for any event whatsoever.


Your sister-in-law


Dear Crappy Slacker Co-Worker,

          YOU WIN!  You skip your shifts and do no work... and a position was created just for you.  Yet you continue to do the same things you did before in your new position. I now try to pretend you do not work for the company instead of getting pissed off that you are being catered to.  This may fly here at this job... but listen here... this will not work in the real world.


The Day You Are Fired Will Be a Day to Celebrate


Dear Sweet Innocent 12 1/2 Year Old Daughter,

           The next time I go to turn your alarm off on your cell phone and see that you have set the alarm message to "WTFU"... you will no longer be in possession of that cell phone.


The Mom Who Didn't Think Your Dad Should Get You an iPhone


B. Wilson said...

Wow. Just wow.

The roofers? My roof was done in a day with about 6 guys working on it. And we have a large, 2-story Georgian home. They need to pick it up.

The BBQ guest. No words.

And your lovely daughter... oh my. I'm not ready for B to grow into that stage. ;)

Amy Cunningham said...

OMG! I loved your letters! I couldn't help but giggle a few times, but please know I feel your pain. The BBQ guest one made my jaw drop. (after giggling a little again - sorry!)Then I saw how you signed it....ouch! Hopefully, that gets better!

Loved your letters. Found you through the link up...I think I might follow you! ;0) Have a good weekend!