I haven't actually "miscarried" yet. We were given three choices when at the doctor's office last week. We chose one thing (suppositories)... and later through careful consideration between my husband and I chose something else (letting nature take its course). Something that feels right for us. Something that we sought a second opinion on before deciding from a medical professional. How we are handling to have this end... is my decision... that I made as a woman with my husband... that isn't up for discussion or criticism.
I no longer feel pregnant though... my symptoms have disappeared. I have more energy. My carpal tunnel which totally vanished during my pregnancy... was back this morning. The diet cokes I couldn't wait to drink after our baby arrived... somehow don't taste as good now... as I thought they would.
I am learning that some people just don't know what to say. I am learning that just saying "I am sorry" or not saying anything at all... is better that some of the things I have heard such as ...
"Everything happens for a reason" - This doesn't make someone who has suffered a loss feel better. While everything may happen for a reason, it doesn't always provide comfort.
"You didn't really lose a baby because it wasn't formed" - To us it didn't matter... it still hurts.
"It will happen again... do not worry" - Easier said than done.
"I would wait before trying again... if you hurry, you might stress too much about what happened" - See... the person who told me to wait before trying again... they were never asked, they just took it upon themselves to offer up that bit of advice. I never asked anyone (other than my husband) when we should try again.
My husband and I had a great (tear-free) conversation last night about what is happening to us. We discussed as a couple our wishes, our timeline, and our plan for our family. We are still disappointed. We are still sad. I still have cried every day since our appointment last Thursday. But we are also hopeful...and excited...for our future...and nervous...and scared.