Wednesday, October 19, 2011

When Your Family Leaves You Hanging... {Day 19}

I have typed this, edited it, retyped this, etc... several times for weeks.  I have went back and forth on if I wanted to share it openly, what I wanted to say, and the best way to say it. 

It really stinks when someone who should be one of your go to people has chosen to not have a relationship with you or with anyone in your family.  As much as I don't want to admit that it bothers me, it does.

I guess since I have a relationship with everyone in my family... it is even more confusing to me. 

I have one sister.  She lives all of the way in Las Vegas.  I love her.  I love my niece and nephew.  We have had our ups and downs.  We are super different from one another.  We do not talk every day.  Some days we just exchange text messages.  But I know without a doubt if she was local we would see each other at least once a week.  We'd meet for dinners.  I'd pick her kids up and take them places...and she would do the same.   We would help one another out.  Our husbands would hang out and drink beer and watch college football.  We would be there if one another needed something...anything.  Because in my opinion... that is what families do.

How much of an effort do you make to try to form a friendship with someone who has kind of  made it clear they could care less about you, your husband, and your daughter?  I guess if this person wasn't a relative... I would tell myself NONE... you make no effort. 

But, what if they are a relative? A relative who has made no effort to form any sort of a relationship with you....when you have done nothing wrong.

How far do you go to salvage family relationships before you just throw in the towel?


Erin said...

**Frustrated - just typed you this whole comment and explorer deleted it!!** Grrr! Anyway, I'll try and do it again.

I'm so sorry Melissa! I know how frustrating this is. Since I don't know this person whatsoever I guess you have to ask yourself... Does this person make no effort to have a relationship with anyone else or is it just you? Is this person more of an introvert? I often think about the fact that although I am close with my parents, if anything ever happened to my mom I'm not sure I'd ever hear from my dad. He is a good man with a good heart but doesn't have a good handle on what it takes to keep up with relationships. If I didn't already know that I might take it like he wasn't really interested in me, when in fact he really does love me he just isn't good at being proactive in showing it.
I guess you will have to decide if you are okay with pursuing this person and having a relationship with them knowing it will be one sided or sever ties altogether. I know it's hurtful but maybe this person is clueless.

Jassi's Girl said...

That is a very tough question especially since it has to do with family. But at the end of the day your family is your husband and kid and if this person isn't treating you the way you deserve then I think you should throw in the towel but at the same time still be respectful.

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